Many people find themselves overwhelmed by social obligations during the holiday season, leading to what experts call “social fatigue.” According to Radu Saveanu, M.D., a psychiatrist with the University of Miami Health System, frequent gatherings and heightened expectations can drain personal energy reserves.
“All these social events take up a lot of energy,” said Dr. Saveanu. “And in the end, the [cumulative] social stimulation is what leaves people exhausted.”
Dr. Saveanu explained that stress from constant engagement and unrealistic expectations often contribute to this exhaustion. He noted, “The conscious or unconscious expectation that ‘I want to make this year’s celebration special’ or ‘I want to celebrate Christmas in such-and-such a way,’ can be a recipe for disaster. These expectations come from our past, from what we believe is the ideal way to do something, but the present circumstances are the immediate trigger.”
When reality does not meet these expectations, individuals may experience disappointment and desire isolation rather than togetherness.
Research supports these observations. Studies have shown that overstimulation can overwhelm the nervous system and increase stress levels. For example, work by Microsoft Human Factors Lab found that consecutive virtual meetings caused spikes in stress-related brain activity over time.
Introverts may find social demands particularly challenging due to their need for more alone time. However, Dr. Saveanu pointed out that even extroverts can become depleted if they do not manage their schedules carefully: “Personality does play a role,” he said. “There are people who need more alone time, and there are people who thrive on always wanting to give to others.” He added that both groups can eventually feel exhausted if they do not pace themselves.
To help manage social fatigue during busy times like holidays, Dr. Saveanu recommends several strategies:
– Recognize signs of overload such as irritability, depression, anxiety, fatigue, difficulty sleeping, and low energy.
– Rest mentally and physically before major events.
– Learn to say no and prioritize commitments.
– Take breaks when needed—sometimes opting out of an event for self-care is beneficial.
– Maintain healthy habits including adequate sleep, nutrition, and exercise.
– Stay flexible about plans since not everything will go as expected.
– Space out commitments instead of scheduling them all at once.
– Reflect on past experiences without harsh self-criticism.
“We all tend to be more critical of ourselves than others are of us,” Dr. Saveanu said. “So, be gentle with yourself. Be aware that your fantasy [of a perfect social life] is something unconscious we keep inside, and it’s not true to real life.”
Written by Ana Veciana-Suárez.
